Bill Maher Quotes


You want someone who's been able to help turn programs around. - Bill Maher


Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. - Bill Maher


When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain. - Bill Maher


When You Ride Alone You Ride With Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism. - Bill Maher


When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. When they talk about values, theyre talking about things like going to church, voting for Bush, being loyal to Jesus, praying. These are not values. - Bill Maher


When we make mistakes they call it evil. - Bill Maher


When I do something directly political, even if [an audience] doesn't agree with it, if it's funny and true, they gotta give it up. . . . Stand-up is more personal; a monologue is standing on the corner watching the parade go by and making wisecracks about it. - Bill Maher


What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. - Bill Maher


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